Marie-Mathilde-Josephine de Nédonchel was born in Paris on August 19, 1842. She was the younger daughter of Georges-Alexandre-François, Count de Nédonchel and Antoinette-Marie-Louise, Countess de Choiseul and Countess de Nédonchel, and as such, she was born into comfort and privilege.
Her family divided its time between their homes in Paris and in Tournai, Belgium where they lived a fairly quiet and pious life. The Count was a generous man, known throughout Belgium for his good works, and his wife, although a brilliant society hostess, preferred, when able, to spend her time in prayer and supervising the education of her two daughters.
Mathilde had a lively personality, which she herself characterized as “difficult” from quite a young age. She was headstrong, impetuous and insisted on having her own way. This was especially noticeable as her older sister Caroline was a quiet and obedient soul.
Gentleness, holiness, humility, and quiet modesty – all the things for which Mathilde was known later in life, did not come naturally to her. She struggled right from the beginning for obedience to her parents and against anger at not having her own way. She would stomp off, throw things, and make a mess, but in the end she would always come around and beg pardon of her parents and sister.
In 1867 in a letter to a friend, she reminisced about her childhood behavior: Everyone in my family was pious and holy; it was me alone who made Jesus, Mary and my mother cry.
It did not help that the religious climate of France at that time focused on the wrath of God and the need to attain perfection on Earth so as not to be eternally damned. The teachings about the mercy of Jesus were, if not actually forgotten, very much neglected. This need to be good and obedient, so as to be perfect, weighed heavily on Mathilde as a child, so much so that at eight years old, she considered suicide.
Wandering about the garden alone one day, she was so discouraged by her inability to conquer what she saw as very bad behavior, that she didn’t see the point of living a long life. After all, she was only bringing sadness to her parents and damnation to herself. As she came to this conclusion, she realized that she was standing near an aconite plant. She tried to reach out and pluck the plant to poison herself, but found that she couldn’t move her arm. She was obstinate as ever and kept trying until she looked up and, surprised and not a little frightened, saw the Blessed Virgin looking at her with both sweetness and pity. Mathilde considered this vision one of the greatest graces of her life and re-doubled her efforts to be good.
From around this time she felt a call to religious life and promised Mary that, when she grew up, she would become a religious in a Marian order.
When she was almost 11, Mathilde was sent to join her sister at the Convent of the Dames du Sacré-Coeur in Jette to continue her education. While at Jette she prepared for her First Communion. On the eve of her big day, Mathilde felt overwhelmed and weighed down by a great sin she could not bring herself to confess. Finally she prayed: I promise you my good Mother, that if you obtain for me this grace (to confess), I will renounce the world and consecrate myself forever to God and love and serve only Him for the rest of my life.
When writing about her life, her spiritual director wrote: … by this act of heroic generosity the demon left her, calm returned and the next day was spent in heaven.
From the time of her First Communion, Mathilde wanted to receive the Eucharist every day, if possible. Unfortunately for Mathilde, she lived before frequent communion was encouraged; she had to have the permission of her confessor (or superior) to receive at all.
In asking for frequent communion, her stubbornness served her well. Here is a note she wrote to her sister Caroline, probably when she was about 12 or 13 and they were both at school:
I have an excellent idea: go right now to Madame Clémentine and ask her if we – Marie L. and myself – may receive on Monday. Promise her that on our part we are quite ready for this favor and while you are with Madame Clémentine, I will go myself to the chapel and pray with all my heart to our good Mother to let us have this favor. I am sure that she will grant us this. But if she refuses us, it is because we are not worthy. If Madame Clémentine makes any difficulties, keep insisting a lot.
In 1857 when she was 15 years old, Mathilde finished her education in Jette and returned home. The family stayed in Paris for the winter where the two sisters spent their time helping in the house, reading and studying, visiting the poor and attending Mass. They also kept their mother company for much of the day. By this time, Madame de Nédonchel was quite ill and often in pain and confined to her bed, and she loved having her daughters nearby to talk to or to read to her. It was a very quiet life and Mathilde continued to record her battles with her stubbornness and pride in her journal, frequently calling herself “the biggest sinner in the world.”
Monsieur de Nédonchel decided to make a family pilgrimage to La Salette in June 1858 in order to ask for Madame de Nédonchel’s healing. And as they would be passing fairly close to Ars, he decided they would also go to Ars and listen to the wisdom of the holy Curéthere.
At La Salette, Mathilde renewed a recent vow of chastity she had made, and as a reminder of it, bought herself a small silver ring to wear. She also confided there to Caroline that she felt she was being called to the Visitation order.
Ars was crowded with pilgrims when the de Nédonchel family arrived. On their first day there Mathilde sought refuge in the Lady Chapel so that she could pray. She had just knelt down when the Curé (St. John Vianney)entered, dressed for Mass. Mathilde wrote in her journal:
I don’t know if the chapel was full. I was on my knees near the altar. I looked up and it was impossible for me to lower them again the whole time of the Mass. … This venerable priest could not speak; he seemed ready to expire. Emotion suffocated him, tears were flowing like two rivers down his cheeks. I too cried at such a spectacle. Me, who did not cry on the day before my First Communion when I asked pardon of my teachers and friends; me who until this day have only cried from anger or vanity. But I say in the presence of God that I could not help crying now. I had seen this man of God weep – crying for our broken souls. His tears were not noisy, but they were so bitter.
After Mass, the Curé returned to the confessional, which was, as always, besieged by penitents from all over. Mathilde got in line, but somewhat nervously, as she had a secret she wanted to confess, but was afraid to do so.
The Curé knew her secret sorrow without being told, and he reassured her and spoke to her about the mercy of God and the tenderness of His divine heart. Mathilde spoke about her desire for a religious life and her vow of chastity. The Curé d’Ars told her there was no doubt of her vocation.
The de Nédonchels stayed in Ars for a few days and they met with the Curé several times in the streets, where he always recognized them. When they were ready to leave Ars for home, Mathilde asked the Curé to bless a crucifix she had bought in La Salette. She recorded his parting words to her: You are leaving already? Go then reassured of my prayers and we will meet again in heaven.
This pilgrimage had a profound effect on Mathilde and when she felt she was still the greatest sinner in the world, she remembered the Curé telling her about God’s mercy and that she would persevere.
Mathilde also made an impression on St. John Vianney. While this passage from the Life of the Curéd’Arsdoesn’t refer to Mathilde by name, it is thought to be about her.
We give our youth to the devil and what’s left to God, who is so good that he is content with this. Happily not everyone is like this. We had here a noble young lady from one of the first families in France who left this morning. She is very rich, very wealthy. She offered herself as a sacrifice to God for the expiation of sins and for the conversion of sinners. She wears a belt trimmed with iron points, she mortifies herself in a thousand ways that her parents don’t even know about. She is as pale as a sheet of paper. She is a beautiful soul, very pleasing to God. It is souls like this that stop the world from ending right now.
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After the trip to La Salette and Ars, Mathilde was anxious to apply to the Visitation order for admittance; but, not only was she too young, she was considered delicate health wise. Both her spiritual director and her parents said no, not for a while yet.
Caroline married in October 1863 and shortly after this Madame de Nédonchel’s illness worsened to the point where she could not leave the house because of constant pain and weakness. She depended on having Mathilde with her and so it was out of the question that Mathilde should leave home to enter religious life at this time.
As the months wore on and Mathilde continued to think about religious life, she began to think that life in the Visitation order wasn’t austere enough, and that she was really called to the Carmelites. Mathilde increased her prayers and sacrifices, asking both for God to heal her beloved mother and to hasten the time that she might enter the cloister and become totally His.
In spite of her prayers, Mathilde continued to be frail and often ill, and in the opinion of her parents and her confessor, she simply was not strong enough for a life in Carmel. So she continued to wait and to spend her time with her mother.
Mathilde first heard of the Guard of Honor in December 1864. In a journal entry from December 3, she mentions being together with some friends and the conversation turning to God and the religious life. One of the girls mentioned the Visitation and showed her a little leaflet about the Guard of Honor.
In 1865 she took part in a retreat given by the Sisters of the Sacred Heart in Paris and the priest who preached at the retreat made a huge impression on Mathilde. Up until this point, while she had dutifully made a monthly consecration to the Sacred Heart, it was more from a sense a duty than from a heartfelt devotion. This retreat changed that.
On April 1, 1865, Mathilde wrote in her journal a long and ardent consecration to the Sacred Heart. In this consecration, she recognizes she has been slow to come to know Jesus’ Divine Heart. She confesses all her weaknesses and imperfections and hands them over to Jesus and asks instead to be one with his holy will; whatever He wants for her, she wants – if she is not to have peace, that’s fine; if she is to suffer, she wants that as well, if He wants her to suffer humiliations, she desires that also.
My soul, my spirit, my body, my freedom, all of me, I consecrate today to Your Sacred Heart.
She signed this with her blood.
Shortly after, in June 1865 Mathilde wrote to the Visitation in Bourg asking for more information on the Guard of Honor.
My Reverend Mother: I don’t have the honor of your acquaintance, but your small charming leaflet on the Association of the Guard of Honor fell into my hand and I immediately thought that I should help spread this beautiful devotion, as if everything depended on me. Alas, I am only a small young person and my modest purse often refuses to do all the good I want. There are so many miseries to relieve. I don’t want to let the month of June pass without doing something to spread the holy and precious devotion to the Sacred Heart, which alas, I have only learned to love recently. I am only able to set aside the sum of five francs. It is very little. All that’s left is for me to thank you in advance and ask for the help of your prayers, especially for my poor mother who suffers a lot, as well as for myself who also needs them.
She received almost immediately a small consignment of leaflets along with a letter which offered her the title of Zelatrix in the Guard of Honor.
Mathilde was somewhat reluctant to take on the duties of a Zelatrix as she knew it would mean going out and meeting with people to talk about the Sacred Heart, and what she really wanted to do was stay home and pray, waiting for the time when she could enter Carmel. However, she sensed that God was asking her to put aside her own preferences and do this, and so she consented. Her parents were the first people she enrolled.
For the next two years, she devoted all her time to promoting the Guard of Honor and enrolling members. It wasn’t easy and there was a huge difficulty right from the start: the Bishop of Tournai (her home diocese in Belgium) was reluctant to allow the Guard of Honor in his diocese. He thought there were too many holy societies already and he had let it be known that he would refuse to recognize this one. Still, Mathilde went to see him, fell to her knees and asked:
Monseigneur, I have the grace to ask you and I dare to hope that your Excellency will not refuse me, because my request is about making people love our Lord more.
Bishop Labis replied: What do you want my child? Stand up.
Mathilde, however, remained kneeling while explaining her mission. Bishop Labis asked questions about the Guard of Honor; Mathilde responded so well that the bishop said:
My child, you have won. I agree to everything you ask of me.
Before Mathilde left, the bishop had chosen his own hour for the Guard of Honor and remained a fervent supporter of it the rest of his life.
Mathilde, who continued to long for the quiet of the cloister, found herself living a very active life with regular meetings, many organizational demands, endless correspondence, and constant talks. Under her leadership, the Guard of Honor in Belgium grew rapidly. She was responsible for adding in just a few short years, 8,900 people to the rolls. Mathilde never took credit for any of this herself. She always credited her mother for any success, both by both patiently offering her suffering and also by giving her good advice.
After not too long, Mathilde was nominated to be the First Zelatrice in all of Belgium. This terrified her as she saw it increasing her duties to the Guard and keeping her even longer in the world. She went so far as to write in her journal: My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? In the end, though, she agreed to the title as she wanted to do only what Jesus wanted.
In June 1867 Rome marked the 1800 year anniversary of the martyrdom of Saints Peter and Paul. While Madame de Nédonchel was too ill to travel, Mathilde, her father and her aunt made the pilgrimage to Rome to take part in some of the ceremonies. Mathilde herself had recently suffered from measles and was only about six weeks recovered when they left on June 13. They arrived on June 19 and began visiting many churches and monuments.
On June 22 Mathilde returned to her room very tired and immediately went to lie down. That night she was very restless and in the morning looked even paler than normal. Her father insisted she stay in bed. As the day went on, she developed a burning fever and began to vomit. She continued in and out of consciousness for three days. She received last rites and died on June 27, the eve of the Feast of the Sacred Heart. She was 24 years old.
Mathilde was laid to rest in Rome, in the church of Santa-Maria in Aquiro. This was the parish church of the area she had been staying in. Her father had wanted to bury her at a Carmelite convent so that at least in death she would be in the Carmelite cloister she longed for. However, the priest at Santa-Maria wouldn’t hear of it. He insisted she be interred at the foot of Sacred Heart altar in the Chapel of the Crucifix in the church. Interestingly, Santa-Maria in Aquiro is also referred to as Santa Maria della Visitazione!
-written by Elizabeth Rau, member of the Guard of Honor
[Note: All the information for this article is taken from the following sources. The translations in the article are my own.]
Histoire d’une Âme: La Servante de Dieu Mathilde de Nédonchelpar L’Abbé L. LaPlace. 1885 (Note – L’Abbé L. LaPlace was one of Mathilde’s spiritual directors.)
Notice sur la Vie de Mademoiselle Mathilde de Nédonchel. Première Zélatrice de la Garde d’honneur du Sacré Coeur de Jésus en Belgique, et Congréganiste de la Sainte Vierge. Pieusement décédée à Rome le 27 Juin 1867. Par une de ses Amies.